*Aakeroy starts telling his "life story"*
Aakeroy: Oh...I'm only doing this because we're ahead.
Aakeroy: I knew nothing, like you do now...no offense.
Aakeroy: He was staring at one math equation that was very close to negative infinity for four years.
Some girl: Wow...
Aakeroy: Yes, wow...what the hell was he thinking?
Aakeroy: How many guys would only pee in a bottle for 12 months, no where else?...no one, see?
*Two guys raise their hands*
Aakeroy: The best part is that the guys who did it couldn't pee without the bottle afterwards.
Aakeroy: How would you detect hormone levels in rabbits? Come on, what are rabbits known for?
Some guy: Making love?
Aakeroy: Well...that's a sweet way to put it...sweet rabbit love...well anyway, he had to test this rabbit's...how do I put it...horniness...with a hand puppet. Eventually this rabbit learned and would fly across this room at this guy holding a rabbit hand puppet.
Jordan: Ladybug sex, yay! Just a little better than rabbits.
Aakeroy: If you can't figure out new fuel cell...you'll face a cold, cold future. I don't have to worry about it, I'll be dead...but you...
Aakeroy: Our world would be great without oxygen, there would be no rust...of course it would be a bit akward to live.
Aakeroy: When all those bad boys and girls come back from spring break feeling poorly from disease...upset stomachs of course...
Dr. Pattel (substitute professor from Chem. I): Oh well, if I mess this equipment up I'll just blame it on Aakeroy...they'll believe me.
Leota, to Amber: Stick with me, you'll meet all sorts of lesbians.
Leota: I don't know, most of my closest friends have seem to be girls who were bi or lesbian...I'm a lesbian magnent!
Sarah: It's the lip ring...it's a lesbian-attracting lip ring!
Barbara: Leota, it's a record! I've gone to three classes in one day!
Leota: Barbara...I don't want to go to class!
*Sarah walks up*
Leota:...okay...the world doesn't want me to go to class.
*Amber walks up*
Leota: Yay! Fate doesn't want me to go to class!
Guy sitting behind Leota: You can make anything sound sexy..."I want to hydrolize your starch granuals."
Other guy: Dude...you've been in grain science way too long.
Aakeroy: When we die we typically stop breathing...
Aakeroy: Well there was this coastline...you do all know what a coastline is, right?
Aakeroy: So these scientists stole...no wait...borrowed...
Aakeroy: I need a volunteer...
*Guy raises his hand*
Aakeroy: To run into a wall going 4,000 mi/s.
*Guy slams his hand down*
Aakeroy: Now imagine us trying to calculate how you could run into it and change into new elements...it would be a bloody mess!...litterally...
Aakeroy: I'm not advocating either, I'm just saying that the problems have to be solved or we'll all die.
Leota: We saved the world!
Jordan: Or...we'll blow it up...