Saturday, December 03, 2005

Top 50 Ways to Find Jesus

  1. Cell phone address book
  2. Look behind the couch
  3. Check the Mexica restaurant
  4. Phone book/Yellow pages
  5. Dissect a Christian - they have Jesus in their hearts
  6. Ask the Pope
  7. Sock drawer
  8. That place where all the lost things go
  9. The hole in the dryer that eats your socks
  10. Jesusland
  11. Personal ad
  12. Milk cartons
  13. "LOST" posters
  14. Missing persons report
  15. Grilled cheese sandwich
  16. Die and go to heaven
  17. Play "Marco Polo"
  18. The Republican National Convention
  19. On a cross
  20. The opposite direction from the one the pagans are going
  21. The pagans' lock-box
  22. A cage in Neverland (Michael Jackson's, not Peter Pan's)
  23. Ripley's "Believe it or Not"
  24. Coat closet in the Vatican
  25. Chamber of Secrets
  26. Supermarket tabloids
  27. Ask Mel Gibson
  28. Wherever Elvis is hiding
  29. The last place you look
  30. Narnia
  31. Area 51
  32. Center of the Earth
  33. Mental hospital
  34. Salt Lake City
  35. Across the street - with the Mexicans
  36. Pizza Shuttle
  37. Under a bridge in Houston
  38. Miscellaneous food items
  39. Ask an evangelist - from a safe distance (and remember not to sign anything!)
  40. Ask Buddha
  41. Ask Santa; he knows all
  42. Dirty sex talk (Oh, Jesus!)
  43. The internet
  44. Wal*Mart
  45. Google
  46. eBay
  47. A trailer park
  48. Ask DaVinci
  49. The restroom
  50. LSD

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