Saturday, October 29, 2005

Halloween Party

Chad: My sword gets in the way of my driving. It's too long.
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Chad: I can tell my sword's going to be fun all night.
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Shelby: I feel like the intro to a porn movie.
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Jordan, to Zach: What are you grabbing?
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Zach, dressed as a cat: Jordan, can you fix me?
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Zach: I love breasts because they're so bouncy.
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Zach, to Jordan: I can be your rebound.
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Leota: Wow, you pounced on that like a cat.
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Shelby: Well, he wouldn't have any trouble getting some pussy.
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Shelby: Here, hold this, I have to pull my dress down.
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Shelby: Tie me up again, sweetie.
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Shelby, to Annie: Do you like the feel of my butt on your leg?
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Sarah: The last time I saw two people do that, one of them was drunk, they were both German, and they were at a bar in Athens.
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Brad: If there's no sex involved, Shelby doesn't get it.
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Annie, reading some random guy's t-shirt: Save a cow, eat a veterinarian!
Some random guy: No, it doesn't say veterinarian.
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Shelby: Some of us have no pants on!
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Shelby: Hold on, half of our party got stopped by an alligator.
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Shelby: Why do you always assume that everything I say is about sex?
Everyone else: Because it is!
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Chad: The apple tree probably should have been unpollinated.
Leota: A virgin apple tree sacrifice!

Trick or Treat in Aggieville Earnings

Buffalo Wild Wings - lemon Eclipse gum
Jimmy Johns - printed napkins
Bluestem Bistro - assorted breads, pastries and desserts (!)
Rusty's Last Chance - one Lifesaver
Kite's - one Lifesaver
Pita Pit - one straw each (Chad stole some lids and a menu)
Auntie Mae's - assorted Halloween candy
So Long Saloon - one coaster
Purple Pig - a used straw off the ground
Joe's Tap Room - a quarter
Longhorn Saloon - one paperclip
Hunam - one fortune cookie each
Pizza Hut - mints
Hibachi Hut - pepper, salt, a toothpick

Thursday, October 27, 2005

At Gathering (10/27/05)

Zach: Are these cookies made out of real elves?
Cien and Sarah: Yes.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

At the Bistro (10/23/05)

Cien: Witches don't have purple boobs?
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Shelby: Don't staple my head!
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Zach: Could you untie me?
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Derek: Whereas you look like...
Cien: A granny? Damn, I should have brought my knitting.
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Cien: Granny's gonna getcha!
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Sarah: (suggestively) Gee, Zach, I thought you fit into his pants pretty well a while back.
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Trent: The one thing I've never been able to figure out is how he signals you what song to do next.
Cien: He holds up a white sign with the name of the song on it.
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Cien, in French accent: And now, zee Pride of zee French Wildcatland, zee Kansas State French Marching Band! Introducing French drum majors Brian Long, Amanda Jolly, and Sharyn Worcester, but we won't mention her, because we don't like zee English, and feature twirler whatever her name is!
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Sarah: I'm having a hard time remembering whose clothes I'm wearing.
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Cien: I don't mind being there when there's another girl with me, but...
Jordan: Another?
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Cien: Come give granny a hug!
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Zach: You are one hot grandma. You make me sizzle!
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Cien, with his head in a box of candy: I smell candy.
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Cien: You don't like my granny nuts?

Sunday, October 16, 2005

At the Bistro (10/16/05)

Sarah: We were distracted by Brad raping the scarf.
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Shelby (To Chad on the phone): I'm sorry, Cien's talking about my boobs... What?
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Chad (On the phone): For a gay guy, he certainly talks about your boobs quite a lot.
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Cien: Blah blah blah blah blah Shelby's boobs blah blah blah blah blah.
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Sarah: Dude, it's like a desert!
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Shelby: I'm gonna go play Alchemy because you people suck!
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Sarah: The only time I've been worried about my parents' marriage was when Sim City 4 came out.
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Cien: Oh, wow, that was tart!
Sarah: You just drank half a lemon.
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Cien: Wait, that's not how you spell "j"!
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Shelby: Oh, Cien! That's almost as bad as my rendezvous at the church!
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Cien: I'll profound you!
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Cien, about his relationship with Zach: We still eat each other's heads...
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Cien: It says... is that a booger?
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Leota: Shelby, are you trying to seduce the cheesecake?
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Cien: Kamiwa sono hitorigo...
Everyone: (death moan)
Cien: What?
Sarah: It's the word of the day.
Cien: What?
Sarah: Tori. It's the word of the day.
Cien: Tori? That means chicken!
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Cien: ...English. Oooh, they have it in English!
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Cien: You're not fat. You're festively plump.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

At the Bistro (10/02/05)

Katie: My baloney has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R. My baloney has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R...
Everyone: (death moan)
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Katie: The word of the day is: "meanie-head."
Shelby: ...and they want me to say, "Meanie-head"...
Everyone: (death moan)
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Shelby: So we have 3/4 of a funny left?
Sarah: Yeah, we definitely didn't use a whole funny on that one.
Everyone: (laughs)
Sarah: Okay, I think we just lost a little bit more of the funny.
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Jordan: What? I heard "sex"!
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Shelby: He wouldn't have 2/8 of a sandwich!
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Sarah: A four-mile potato sack race!
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Shelby: If you were in Azkaban so long, you'd get AIDS, too.
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Sarah: Like zat'ni'katel!
Everyone: (silence)
Sarah: Nobody got that.
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Shelby (To Cien on the phone): It ends with "head" and starts with "meanie."
Cien (On phone): Meanie-head?
Everyone: (death moan)
Sarah: That gets funnier every time we do it.
Cien: Weird = you guys.
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Shelby: Ye olde cell phone.
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Sarah: Portuguese phones don't ring, they just exist.
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Katie, browsing ringtones: "You've Been Officially Pimped," by Exhibit.
Sarah: That's a song?
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Katie, with cell phone: "Feed me! Feed me!"
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Katie, pointing and laughing: Your cell phone can't talk!
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Brad: Portuguese phones can't ring because they don't have mouths.
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Brad: It's lesbian phone sex!